2009 . . . . . honestly

Hi Everyone,


Well, it is near the end of 2009. It is also my birthday. . . a day that seems to always cause me to reflect on things. (I know. . I'm a huge ball of fun).

This has really been a hard year. I'm going to try and avoid all the "hardest year of my life" hyperbole, although I do feel that way at times. I think, mentally, and emotionally I probably did better this year than some of my college days.

But, the non-whining rundown is. . . we have big money problems. . . we had house problems (I replaced every major appliance in my house this year, save the refrigerator). . . we had extended family problems, . . . marriage was tough this year (Jody is a trooper). . . . I didn't write many songs this year. . . .I got back out of shape. . . . we had a house fire . . . .we had relational struggles with some friends. . . .ok I'll stop.

I'm fighting for joy right now in these things, because I know that God sovereignly ordered all of this into my life this year. He has a purpose in it. I know that to be true more than I know most anything else. And, that's a comfort.

I"m not a "why me" kind of guy. In fact, those close to me are often frustrated by my lack of "why me" and expectations for myself. I"m a "why not me" kind of guy. Why shouldn't I have financial problems? What silver spoon do I have in my mouth that would exclude me from homeowner difficulties? There isn't one. . .and none of us are owed anything or should expect a trouble-free 2010. Matt Chandler's ( a favorite of this blog) recent battle with brain cancer has again helped and reminded me of these truths which are important to keep in front of us.

So, that's not the problem. . I struggle more with "how can we get back to the way it was"--itis, which is probably almost as bad as "why me"--ism :) We can't get back. Life changes and we're forever changed by what God has for us. The good news is, for Christians, this change has a purpose and God is in all of it. The bad news is. . . it's often painful.

So, I"m hopeful again for 2010. I"m not hopeful for a pain-free 2010. I would like it to be a "lighter" year and a year filled with more eustress (stress that moves you forward and leads you to good action and initiative) and less distress (stress that causes my cholesterol to go up, fights to happen in my house, and a cloudy brain).

In fact that might be a big one. . my brain is cloudy these days and my thoughts are quickly distracted or gone. I know, I'm older :) but I need to do better this year at silence and solitude.
Perhaps working on the "out of shape" thing will help there as well.

But, I'm hopeful because God doesn't change and since he didn't withhold his own Son, he will "also with Him graciously give us all things". I know that's true. It was true in this hard year, and it will be true if 2010 is harder.

But, the fight for joy continues, I don't just want to survive 2010, I want to live it more to the Glory of God. . . . Pray for me.

Best relationship advice I've heard in. . . . . ever

This little gem is from a CCEF booklet entitled Family Feuds: How to Respond by Tim Lane.

You can read the whole thing here. Even though this is mainly talking about relating to your extended family at Christmas. . . .I think this is great for marriage/parenting/any relationship . . . great stuff, and very helpful:

"Living with a conscious understanding of who you are in Christ can practically impact the way you love your family. Think of it this way: if you are very poor and someone steals a dollar from you, you’d be very angry and you’d try to make that person give you your dollar back. But if you are a multi-millionaire and someone takes $100 or even $1000 dollars from you, the offense, though real, doesn’t sting like it would if you were very poor. In the same way, when you become a Christian you are a spiritual multi-millionaire a millions times over!

Because of what Jesus did for you through his life, death, and resurrection, God has poured an unlimited amount of grace, forgiveness, love, commitment, security, and commitment into your life. Your spiritual wealth puts all of the slights, unmet expectations, and hurts of parents and siblings in a totally new light. It doesn’t mean you ignore or don’t feel the hurts, but they pale in comparison to what you have been given in Christ. Because of who you are in Christ, you don’t have to be overwhelmed and dominated by the sins and failures of your family. Instead you will be free to share with them the same grace and mercy God has given to you."

Tim Lane

Two takes on the Tiger Woods story

I don't want to pile on Tiger Woods. I'm not proud of some of the things I've said about it this week. But, I found two good stories about the whole situation today. (one great. . one good)

CJ Mahaney blogs about Sin's pursuit of us and how "there but for the grace of God go I". . . A really, really great piece. I hope to one day find my first emotion in cases like this to be humility. I"m not there yet. But, this is a good word for all of us.

A sports columnist for the Omaha World-Herald had a different take. But, I think he has some good points as well.

What boggles my mind, though, is the idea that he thought he could get away with this, that it would never come out, that these women would keep quiet forever, that the constant media eye on him wouldn't eventually find out. He seemed actually upset that this is a story. Please, Tiger. You've used celebrity like no sports figure before you, even MJ, to become beloved world-wide and all the riches that come with it. Don't scold celebrity when it cuts the other way. This is not the media's fault. And please refrain from using the word "principles.''

That's Tom Shatel. . here's the whole piece. I certainly don't agree with all that he says. But, I do think it's fascinating, from a strictly human point of view, that he really didn't think any of this would come out. Amazing. As is the case with any marital infidelity, he obviously wasn't thinking clearly. And, it's a true statement that Tiger has used his celebrity status to make money, and now he's upset that it has cut the other way.

I just found that piece interesting. Now, go read the CJ Mahaney piece again for a great spiritual take on the whole thing that will actually help you. :)

Aaron

Shameless Self-Promotion

I don't usually do this. . . . . but all of you should go check out 519music.com. We've released a little Christmas ep, along with some Christmas thoughts from me, artwork, etc. . . Thanks to Stone Crandall for the design, and to Trev for fixing up the website.

The hope is that it will be encouraging to folks, and that some would give it away as a gift for some original Christmas music goodness.

Enjoy!

Aaron

The KU situation

Kansas football coach, Mark Mangino is under investigation for abuse and mistreatment of players in his system. There are some who think this is a witch hunt, driven by KU's poor record this year, and that some are trying to railroad Mr. Mangino out of town.

The facts are not known yet, so I'm not making judgements. But, when you're accused of something by others, this is probably not the way to react:

“I can't do the work of some parents,'' he said, “what they should have done before they got to me. And some of those guys are bitter. And some of that's the problem. And I can't do anything about that.”

Let's just say that response is not dripping with humility. I hope the facts are known soon, and more importantly that God will grant Mr. Mangino humility and a soft heart. How we react when allegations are brought against us says alot about who we are.

Be careful what you ask for. . . .

Here's some great stuff from Jeremiah Burroughs and Tim Keller via Kevin DeYoung today:


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Jeremiah Burroughs’ (1599-1646):

Therefore for my part, if I should have a friend or brother or one who was as dear to me as my own soul, whom I saw discontented for the want of such a comfort, I would rather pray, “Lord, keep this thing from them, till you shall be pleased to humble their hearts for their discontent; let not them have the mercy till they come to be humbled for their discontent over the want of it, for if they have it before that time they will have it without any blessing” (The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment, 159).

In other words, if people think they can’t live without some thing, they’ll still be miserable even when they get the thing they wanted so badly. Burroughs goes on to suggest:

There are many things which you desire as your lives, and think that you would be happy if you had them, yet when they come you do not find such happiness in then, but they prove to be the greatest crosses and afflictions that you ever had, and on this ground, because your hearts were immoderately set upon them before you had them.

So be careful how you pray. As Tim Keller (or was it that spirit of Jeremiah Burroughs?) has written, “We never imagine that getting our heart’s deepest desires might be the worst thing that can ever happen to us” (Counterfeit Gods, 1).
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These are important things to think over as we enter the holiday season. Be careful what you long for this Christmas. . it might be the "worst thing that could happen to you".

Humility of Thought

Now for something completely different. . . . . .

Our Culture encourages us to be confident, take no prisoners, exclude those who don't agree with us, get done what we need to get done, make sure we're happy, be self-actualized, etc. . . .

There is obviously danger in being timid, indecisive, and depressed. . don't get me wrong. But, I think we've taken it a bit too far to the other extreme where we reject any feelings of timidity, or sadness and try to move on quickly.

I think we need to have a healthy reluctance in our lives. Not timidity or immaturity, but a heart of humility that says, "I may be found to be not right on this, and others have thought this through perhaps more than I have".

This is a good exercise politically,

(tangent: If you're going to let your viewpoint be dominated by the most extreme voices in your camp. . prepare to be marginalized. Republicans are finding this out now. . .if Limbaugh, Beck, Palin, etc are the only voices heard, than your real message is not heard. The same can be said of Democrats with Olbermann, Soros, Franken, etc. . . . If the loudest voice wins, we all lose. Here's hoping for a more measured debate in 2012. I"m not encouraged that it will happen. The candidates pander to their extremes, the message is diluted by it, and worst of all, we stop listening)

spiritually, and especially, relationally. We're not even infallible in the way we remember things. We have to leave room for the fact that others remember it differently. There is a time to present the evidence that shows your correctness, but most of the time these days, we're content to bash or degrade those who disagree with us. And, yes, husbands, wives, and others who love each other do this as well.

Especially those of us who are under 40. . . . we like to be right. We like to find others on the internet whom agree with us. We like to not listen to the 60 year old who has been there. We like to exclude objective truth claims and clasp our dead, cold hands on our open mindedness and flexibility (which is a very objective thing to do, by the way).

Here's to a healthy reluctance that is absolutely sure about our Savior, his cross, and all he has done. And is less sure about our own expertise, our track record, our reputation, and what we deserve. We've been wrong. We will be again. . . many times. We should confess that to other people and humble ourselves. We should give folks the benefit of the doubt on how they remember a situation. We need to be patient.

I'm not arguing for a Descartian post-modern mindset where everything is mush and no one can call anyone out. That's chaos as well, and we experience that in the church all the time.

I"m saying point the thumb, . . . . then later. . . point the finger.