Sunday, March 6, 2011

Humility, Thy Name is Pop-a-shot. . . .and Other Observations from Chuck-e-Cheese

Today we celebrated Eden's 8th birthday party. To commemorate the occasion, we took her and 3 friends to that mecca of childhood bliss. . . . Chuck-e-cheese! (happy birthday Eden!!)

With a 10-year-old, 8, 6, and 3 . . . I've celebrated quite a few birthdays at this fine establishment. Typically it's a chance to assert my dominance over all pre-teens at pop-a-shot, you know, the mini-basketball, rapid fire game. I won't brag, but many records have been broken, (and set). . many small children have gawked in wonder at my mad fake basketball skills, . . and many shoulder cramps were felt for days afterwards.

That brings me to this evening. . . I approached the pop-a-shot machine to see that the high score was 120. This is a ridiculously high score for that particular machine. I thought to myself, "someone on staff cheated or something. . that's totally fake". To confirm my suspicions, my 2nd game I scored 75. I took a break, came back, and a small lady, probably in her 40's, was playing. This woman was not taller than 5'1''. I don't exaggerate when I say, . . she was a machine. She had a two-handed, under the chin, jumper (you know. . .a girl shot). She was unbelievable. I watched as this minute MJ scored 125, setting the new record.

Ok, . . my turn. I, of course, wasn't even close to her level. . . . . which made me feel pretty bad. But, not as bad as when her 6 year-old daughter started yelling "AIM AT THE SQUARE, AIM AT THE SQUARE". Yeah, thanks. . hadn't thought of that.

Hello, humility. I'll live to fight another day.

Other Observations:

1) I salute CEC's for the expanded menu. . .but really? Beer and wine on tap? I know being in the presence of 400 little, pizza fueled kids makes you want to get all "lit up" but really? One of the taps actually was labelled "chardonnay"!!? You're going to have wine with your low-grade pizza? Nothing says "it's 5-o-clock somewhere" like wine on tap at Chuck-e-cheese's.

2) CEC's has gone downhill since the infamous "CEC/Showbiz" merger/buyout in the 90's. Needless to say, when I was a kid, I used to get a full animatronic band, Fats Domino on the Fender rhodes, and a huge ball pit.(Can I get a witness?) Now I get one animatronic Chuck-e Mouse with a video wall looping disney-esque pop, and a fake horse ride. It's sad really.

3) Hey Miley Cyrus, we can do better than "noddin' my head like yeah. . . movin my hips like yeah". Come on, I don't care if it is a party in the USA. . maybe we should read some poetry in the USA or something. Chip off the old block, I guess. . . . We can do better, Miley, we can do better

4) How many generations of kids will it take to figure out, "I will never, ever be able to get enough tickets to purchase anything of value from the redemption desk". How many? I'm pretty sure the 2000 ticket stuffed bear at the top had a "1998" shirt on. Hadn't been won in a while, huh? The plastic-eraser frogs will have to do for this evening.

Until next time, Chuck-e. . .

1 comment:

Jeff said...

Ugh - I SOOO do not miss the days of CEC :-(. You're a good dad :-)