Suburbia

I"m going to start a series of posts on Suburbia. Why? Because I live there. :)

There has been much written lately on how to minister to different areas in our society. . . inner city, suburbs, rural, etc. . . . . Without a doubt, there has been too much written, and each part of our society comes with it's own problems, and each part needs Christians in them. The bible speaks in universals on this topic (mostly) and there isn't a right or wrong place to live.

So, as I write this series. . please know that I'm not saying that everything about the suburbs is wrong, and bad. The cities have their own problems and so do the rural areas.

I think, it's important though, to know what sins your local society pushes you towards, or make "easy" for you. There are things about the way in which you've chosen to live that push you towards certain things and away from other things. It's really important to realize that, then you can know what things to "flee" from and what things to "hold on to". That's all I"m trying to do. So, with that. . . I"ll do a shorter part 1, . . since I"ve already blabbed on.

#1 The Suburbs push you towards the sin of comparison/coveteousness.

I'll give this a short explanation here and come back to it in later points. But, basically, our suburban neighborhoods often turn into a big "show off" for folks with their houses, cars, accessories, etc . . .

When you're in the city and live in an apartment or older home, you're not trying to show off your stuff because there's so many people in a high-density area that no one cares about what you have :). In rural areas, you have more land (even in the "town" sections of rural areas) for your house and more of your stuff is "functional" (farm equipment, barns, fences, gardens, etc..) So having stuff is not for the purpose of "having the best/biggest/greenest _____ you fill it in). You have it because you need it.

I'm not sure what about the suburbs/home depot/lowe's/upgrades/floorplan/SUV culture that pushes us this way. But, for whatever reason, . . we're all trying to impress each other with what we're doing with our stuff in the suburbs. That much is un-deniable. We can take some instruction from the Apostle Paul when he said in 1 Thessalonians 4:11
"Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business . . . .


more to come. . . . . .

Game 5 report

Well, it was disappointing last night how the Nuggets fell apart in the 4th Quarter. Yes, the officiating was inconsistent, and Nene should still be playing this morning :) . But, we can only blame ourselves. . down 4 with 2 minutes left, we missed 2 wide open 3 pointers. We also blew the back-door play to Trevor Ariza.

Anyway, that's why God created game 6. . . so we need to win (obviously) on Friday night. I think we will. I don't see any quit in our team. So, I'm expecting victory on Friday. Then, we'll have a battle royale on Sunday night for all the marbles.

If you want to go over the officiating and try to fix the NBA's problem (there is a huge problem). Read this article by the Sports Guy

This is a fun team to watch. I"m proud to be a Nuggets fan, no matter what happens in this series. It's great to have a winning, gutsy, scrappy team to root for.

Be Careful How You Listen

This reminder from scripture is important for us today with twitter, email on demand, etc. . . .that infringe on our ability to listen to the people who are actually talking to us,. . or our pastor. . . or our spouse (ouch).

Similar to this command, but a little different, I wanted to talk about watching WHAT we listen to more carefully.

I was listening to a podcast (ironic?) by one of my favorite sports-writers. He's The Sports Guy from ESPN, and he was interviewing Marc Cuban, one of the smartest businessmen out there right now. They were talking about how the sports news cycle is so voluminous that everyone has a blog, everyone is taking shots at him (the owner of the Dallas Mavericks), and anyone can basically say anything that they want.

He had a really good point: It's important to filter through the information that we could consume and give attention to. . . . and discern which information (blog, website, book, album) matters at all. In his case, there were some people he didn't need to listen to, or follow on twitter no matter what they said about him, because they had 5 listeners and they weren't known or influential at all.

This is true in the church as well. . . .but for different reasons.
We live in a day where you can listen to any theological point of view that you'd like to, on demand, at any time, from anywhere in the world. It was not always this way, it used to be that your local pastor and local church were the main source of theological and practical instruction in your life.

This is a good thing, it's great that we can learn from great teachers around the globe. But, the sheer amount of information and divergence of opinions can be paralyzing, numbing, and hurtful, spiritually.

We need to be careful to what we're listening to. You can evaluate that which you listen to in light of the Bible and your own study of the word. You can also research and see what the critiques are of a certain view.

But, also. . . you can just choose to not listen to someone. You can choose not to consume some theological information. Perhaps you're even in a season that a certain good theological training isn't what you need right now. How was the pastor on the internet to know? He was in London! :)

Now, this takes discernment and community to help you know what you need. But, don't fall for the trap of over-consumption or trying to always find what's "new" that's out there. Be patient with bible teachers. Time will help to show which one's are worth your time.

20 Years

(warning: long and heavy post)

I hadn’t thought about it much until this week. . .. . but this is the 20^th anniversary of an event that changed my life forever. It still affects the way I go about pretty much everything in my life. I played it off for years like it was no big deal, and it didn’t affect me. But, that just exacerbated everything and brought me to a place of brokenness about 10 years ago where I realized my whole life was being affected by it.

I’m talking about my parent’s divorce. I’m not here to slam my mom or my dad. My dad passed away a few years ago, and my mom still lives where I grew up, is the best mom in history and she’s climbing the charts of “greatest Grandmother ever”. I don’t wish to defame either of them or “blame” them for anything that has happened in my life.

But, I do wish to shed some perspective on the whole issue of divorce and our culture’s attitude towards it. One of the reasons why I’m thinking about it these days is that in my line of work, many people come to the church seeking advice on divorce. Many of them are looking for a “pass” from the church to allow them to proceed with their intentions of divorce. How ironic that they would come to me? :) But, it happens regularly, and they’re usually not thrilled with what I have to say.

I also have had at least 5 couples who are close friends of Jody’s and mine, who have been divorced in the last few years. All of these folks were married the same year as we were, or more recently. Just for perspective, this year is our 10^th anniversary. That’s not very long. For some reason, that really bugs me. I was at a few of their weddings. . . I did the music,. . . :) It’s just heart-breaking and maddening.

Basically, here’s my view on divorce. Divorce forever alters the lives of many people. The spouses to be sure, but the children are harmed, extended family are harmed, and the future children of all of those people as well.

Here’s some of the affects divorce has had on me:

1) I don’t do really well with authoritative male leadership. Again, I’m not “blaming” anyone for this. I’m responsible for my actions. But, there’s a wound in my heart that makes me very wary of men in leadership in my life. I can’t really handle it when older men yell at me or authoritatively instruct me. I’ve actually had to leave a job over some of these issues.

2) I have an approval complex at times. My punk rock side truly does not care what people think about me on a large scale, . .but in basic conversations and interactions I often interact to seek the approval of others. I’m definitely not the only one, and divorce is not the only thing that causes this. . . . but it is there in my life, and I think it started when I didn’t have a lot of early affirmation of my male-hood (word?) or strength.

3) I have a very low tolerance and/or quick fuse for people that are pursuing divorce or are mis-treating their family. (this is probably obvious right now :) )

There are many more. . you’re probably a little uncomfortable at my closet cleaning. . .but you can see how some of those things have made my current roles in life a little tough at times :).

Before jumping to conclusions, let me say as well. . there was no abuse in my family. Also, after the divorce both my mom and dad did an amazing job at maintaining our relationships and staying close. After speaking with many people who have gone through the same thing, I can truly say I was blessed with how the circumstances played out after the divorce. No question on that. . . . .

But, the fact remains that God hates divorce for a reason, and even a civil, congenial, agreeable divorce is a heart-wrenching, life-changing, sinful affair.

Why am I writing this today? Well, there are a few reasons. I want to give praise to God that he has brought me through all of this, and I’m currently a blessed man with a beautiful wife, great kids, and a victorious life. I don’t dwell on these issues often, and God has given me many victories and has kept me from many vices that others who go through a divorce have fallen into. God is faithful where man is not. And, there’s no doubt that the Gospel is big enough to heal wounds from divorce, as it is big enough to heal all wounds.

This is true, and even though my life has been negatively affected, God has actually used the divorce as the greatest means of sanctification in my life. I wouldn’t be the man I am today without it. As Jesus pursues me, he often uses issues that arose from the divorce as the pathway to spiritual change in my life. I’m grateful for this, Romans 8:28 is true, and this has all worked together for good in my life.

The other reason I write is to encourage you to persevere in marriage. If you’re single, I encourage you to get married and work for the good of your spouse. Divorce is something everyone at least has a fleeting thought about in marriage, . . this is nothing less than spiritual attack. But, humble yourself and know that the best path is the pain and dying to self that accompanies a healthy marriage, and not the pain, sin, and life-shattering consequences of divorce. Don’t do it! Stay married, and stay humble. And, please don’t come to church and ask me to sign off on your divorce!

Ok, I’m totally kidding right there. :) There are some times where, biblically, divorce is permitted,. . . but even then it is after many attempts at reconciliation, many attempts at forgiveness, and many, many overtures to restore the relationship. If this is what should happen before a biblical divorce; than it is truly a scandal how quickly we allow unbiblical divorces to take place all the time in the church.

If you’re divorced, I’m not here to discourage you or “pile on” with what you’ve gone through. Again, the Gospel is big enough for you and me to find forgiveness and restoration. Please hear me say that. I don’t want to add to your hurt by writing this.

My hope is to sober us all up a bit on divorce, and come against our culture’s easy, no fault divorce ethic. It has ruined many lives, it is killing our culture,. . .and much, much, more importantly, it grieves the heart of God and hurts His church.

I hope you hear my heart on this.

It’s been 20 years. . . Divorce is terrible, and we should think of it as such; God is good, and He has been doubly good to me.

Increased Expectations: Game 4 report.

The western conference finals have been going so fast, I haven't had time to catch up. I like the "every other day" format, but it makes it hard to blog about. Here's the Game 4/4th Quarter report:

Going into this series, most of us in Denver were fairly satisfied with making it to the WCF. We hadn't won a playoff series in 15 years, and so we were kind of "happy to be there" with the Lakers. But, something happened on the road to mediocrity. . . . we have a better team than the Lakers. The expectations have gone through the roof. This series could easily be 3-0 with us clinching tonight. But, we've choked in some crucial moments. So, here we are at the all-important game 4, and we're up big. Let's hope we can keep it going. I like our chances if we're going back to L.A. at 2-2. We've already proven we can win in L.A.

--Carmelo did pout quite a bit in game 3, but he has a terrible flu tonight in game 4, maybe he was starting to deal with that over the weekend, who knows. But, regardless, Kobe showed why he's still an assassin by taking that game from us at the end. Back in the Shaq days, I was a huge Laker fan and I used to love Kobe going off like that. Not anymore. :)

--Don't blame George Karl for the out-of-bounds play errors. In game 1 and game 3, the intended recipient of the pass was open for at least 2 seconds before the errant pass was thrown. Timing is everything on out-of-bounds plays and A.C. and Kmart are the culprits.

I'm going to keep watching the game now. . . enjoy everyone!

Aaron

Paul Tripp brings it

This is one of the coolest, short articles I've read on "The American Dream". And, the kicker is,. . it's not even about that. Paul is talking about community. I haven't thought much about how our American lifestyles hurt true community. . . I will now.

Especially read the last 1/2 of this where he tells the story of he and his wife. I found myself dreaming of simpler days to come. Here's hoping and praying that I can see the forest for the trees well enough to do something similar when I get older. I think we lose our way sometimes, . . I hope I don't.

Great stuff.

AI wrap up and game 2

I"ll take one more shot at some American Idol commentary. Some of you despise my A.I. fix, . . . so this will be the last one. Just know that the only reason I"m so into it this year is because there were about 4 world-class singers there at the end. Random-style. . . . .


--No doubt that Adam L. is a better singer than Kris. It's pretty obvious what happened. Kris took all of Danny G's votes. Thus, the victory. It shouldn't be a huge suprise, America always likes a dude playing his acoustic guitar more than a dude with make-up and nail polish. It's more of a cultural comment than anything else. Don't be mad, Adam fans. . .he's obviously not a "homecoming king" kind of guy. Whether or not anyone cares. . . Oklahoma, Nebraska, Iowa, Missouri, Texas, etc. . .those states exist. And, their inhabitants will not be voting en-masse for a dude in make-up anytime soon. That's our culture.

--What was up with "Washed-up Idol" last night? Trotting out all the old-timers was pretty awkward at times. Especially awkward, when their younger, amateur counterparts were outsinging them. KISS and Rod Stewart should never appear on a singing show again, and Lionel Richie was getting hammered by Danny G.

They need to have some current bands/singers at the top of their game to show that there really is a level above the Idol Karaoke that we've seen for 3 months.

--Adam L. will be fine, and even though I don't think he'll have a long career as an album artist, he could star on Broadway as long as he wants, and he could sing lead for Queen or KISS, as he demonstrated last night. He's truly an amazing vocalist.

--I'm not sure Kris will go as far as Adam. He just isn't a "pop" guy (much like David Cook) and he doesn't fit neatly into any current genre's. If they let him write and do his own stuff, he has a shot,. . . we'll see.

--A.I's batting average isn't very good,. . .the last certified "star" that came out a winner on A.I. was Carrie Underwood 3 or 4 years ago. Since then, the winners have not set the world on fire.

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Game 2:

The Nuggets need this one tonight. The Lakers will have trouble in Denver, but the Nuggets won't be able to win 3 in a row either. So, this is an important game.

We just need to focus, make free-throws and not give Kobe dunks. Gasol wants nothing to do with KMart, . .same for Bynum vs. Nene. If Odom and Walton hurt us again, . . that will make it tough.

We need big nights from the Birdman and JR Smith. Smith needs double figures. I also think we need to play Kleiza on Kobe a bit, and get him some burn. This really isn't A.C's series. George Karl needs to take a page from Stan Van Gundy and play some different lineups (i.e. JJ Redick started against Boston and didn't play at all last night, . . DNP).

I don't say that because of AC's bad pass. That wasn't why we lost. I'm just not sure AC matches up against anyone from LA very well except for Farmar. It's not his series.

Let the games begin!
Aaron

Let's see Kleiza!